In the way

Are you in the way?

Come on. Somewhere, you are in your own way.

And where might you be holding a place in someone else’s way? Someone you love. Someone you compete with inside yourself or someone you compare yourself to and where you have made up some cockamamie story that they have something you don’t or should have.

Where are you using someone else’s life or your perception thereof as an excuse to be in your own way?

Where are you in the way?

In the way of your life, of your dreams, of experiencing the fullness of you, of your God-given destiny?  Where have you exchanged that gift for a lesser, easier, more comfortable version of life because it’s the road more traveled, it’s familiar, it’s less likely to cause any ruckus or draw attention to you. You are used to it.

Where are you making stuff up inside your head impeding your connection, your direct and Divine connection to your Heart?

What’s the place where you so easily block yourself? Whats the spot you call your weakness? Your vulnerability?

It just may be your portal through.

Find it. Call it. Know it.

And shine the LIGHT all over it.

Pray. Meditate. Get quiet near it and ask for help.

A coach, therapist, a good listening friend.

God. He/She’s there. Any time.

The way is clear.

Anytime you are ready.

The way can be made clear.

For your consideration…



A critical question to ask yourself…


This may sound so basic and yet I find in life that the simplest things tend to be the most profound, especially when they are brought forward at the perfect, synchronistic time.

This question was offered to me by my coach and it lives on the chalkboard in my living area. Why? Because I choose to remind myself of this very simple and powerful question.

Where am I coming from?

Right now. In this moment. When I make a choice. Or decide something about myself or my life. When I answer an email. When I speak with someone I love. Or anyone for that matter. Where am I inside? Where am I coming from? What place? What space? What mental thought or emotion?

Think about it.

For a moment.

If we give ourselves the opportunity to ask this question before we act, decide, do…imagine the impact on the outcome.


If we create the space to intentionally decide where we want to come from rather than being at the mercy of one dimension of ourselves. To be mindful. Thoughtful.

What would that be like? For you?

For your consideration.



Clarity vs. Choosing

I began writing about this almost a year ago when I was in a transition and searching for the “right” answer to my next steps. I started agonizing a bit over feeling like I didn’t “know” what to do and that felt so uncomfortable. I don’t think I was looking for absolute certainty (or maybe I was), it was just a sense of ‘this is the right path’ or ‘that is the better path,’ for me, right now. And a dear friend reflected back to me that sometimes it’s more about making a choice and allowing the clarity to follow. That resonated with me immediately.

Why had I been forcing on myself some controlled outcome of my choices and my life?

That sense of pushing was not getting me the clarity either. When I relaxed into the idea that if I chose a next step and let that play out, I would become clear if I was on track or if I needed to redirect.

I think we often feel that we don’t have the luxury of choosing and trusting, with bigger decisions in our life. I sense we live more in a mindset where we believe we have to map it out, think it through, make pros and cons lists, talk it over with a trusted friend or advisor, hem and haw, whatever.  And I am not saying all of those are not helpful, the key is that after you’ve done all that and you are still having questions, it might be helpful to make a choice and see what happens.

I am a moderate planner of things and yet I have come to realize that I have really mapped out my life even in an unconscious way. Stepping more into a flow and trusting my instincts, my gut, my intuition, versus always rationalizing my feelings in my mind is a more supportive approach.  The energy of that approach is light, open, expansive, and relaxed. The outcome I am looking for is fulfillment. For me, fulfillment usually comes from the experience of something. I cannot know if I am fulfilled unless I have an experiential reference point. If I am spending all of my energy attempting to create an outcome, or make it happen, I am not so sure I am very present to what’s occurring and to what is available.  When I let go of needing to know and I make a choice, I arrive where I arrive. Essentially, I take myself out of my head and into my life.

The clarity does come later. It’s really quite miraculous. It’s the reward for letting go, releasing the grip on needing it to be or look a certain way and trusting the flow of life.

I have recently found myself in another space of exploring options and this question of “knowing” is present again. This time I am not really making demands of myself to know, rather I am following my energy, my flow of inspiration.  (I will share more about that in another post. :-))

Everything is for us.

For your consideration.



Becoming who you are…

photo 2

This past weekend I spent two nights “glamping” at El Capitan Canyon with 7 of my best high school friends and their families. It was awesome! I actually think this was the first time being with them that I was exactly who I am and was totally comfortable.

We told the stories that need to be told that bring us back to who we were (and still are) and what brought us together way back when. The personality and uniqueness of each one of us came forward in just the same intonation and timing as it does each time we are together. Not to be too sappy but it was a sweet symphony to experience. We are a bit of an eclectic group as it relates to where all of our lives have gone and yet, the nuances of where we all came from – pretty much the same place, was still present. We recognized our good fortune, then and now, and we remembered.

It was a clear reminder for me of the blessing I received when I switched schools in the ninth grade. Initially I was not a happy camper because I skipped graduating junior high due to the new school beginning high school with the ninth grade. However, come tenth grade, I began my friendships with them and they proceeded to really deepen and grow in the eleventh and twelfth years. Had I stayed where we lived prior, it’s possible I would not have gone to undergraduate. I really don’t know. As well, they were kind of a pack which in some aspects began in junior high or earlier and I somehow found myself in the middle of that pack. Sweet. It’s a lot of fun in high school when you have a great group of friends. I have always known that I got lucky.

What I took away from this short time with them was a deeper acceptance and appreciation for who I am. In our high school years, we are so impressionable and we live and breath often by the thoughts, feelings and reactions of our friends. Being with them was a reminder that their love and acceptance was always there – even if we did judge each other from time to time as teenagers. Our friendship was unconditional and it still is.

Allowing it be okay to be who we really are is a game that resides within. It’s so easy to think it’s outside ourselves especially as inexperienced beings. I felt such a sweet sense of resolve and gratitude for the love I have with and for them and also that I can be me. They would have been the ones I would have cared most what they thought and I got in their presence that when I am okay with me, then they will be too – as would the universe. How we feel inside is mirrored back to us. It’s an energetic gift. That way we can see how we are projecting ourselves in the world.

It’s ALL for us. All of it. Friends. Events. Experiences. Learnings. If we choose to see it through that filter.

For your consideration…

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I don’t like to be advice giving but there are things I am going to write about in this blog that may sound so. We are all in choice, so just remember that I know this.

You have to be willing to go deep, go under the layers, look behind, underneath, deeper, or even further out, if you really want to know yourself. I am not saying you all need to do this or it’s imperative for one to know oneself. However if you have any strands within you that match mine, this is true for you too.

There are so many layers to us and I am not just speaking about layers that come with time on the planet and life experience, or our personality, or stories of heart break, or even behavior patterns. There are depths that come from prior to us even arriving here. Don’t ask me to explain that; I am not there yet. And I know it’s true. At least for me it is.

My point being, we are dynamic, multi-faceted, energy infused miracles of Light and there is so much more to every single one of us then meets the eye. Or ear for that matter. It’s a wonderland, truly. Who we are. If we choose to see it that way.

I am an excavator. I like to dig and learn, and dig some more. Not just about me. For sure. I should have been an anthropologist. We are so interesting. Even those of us that think for sure we are not. There are layers awaiting excavation.

The point of this post is to call this out. Highlight it. Champion it. Because I want to. And also because I am in a really interesting place, where I have space, and time and I like to excavate. Sometimes I can use the findings against myself but I am happy to note that I have learned a few things from a few smart people that have taught me that I also have dominion and discernment. I can choose to receive learnings in the spirit of Loving and appreciating myself more or I can go another path. I have spent many a year down the other path – the self-improvement path, which often came with an obsession of needing to be better or just someone other than who I am. And that’s okay too. It’s all about the learning. I am just more aware now that the excavation doesn’t need to be about rejecting myself, rather about deepening in my conscious connection with who I am and why I am here.

I am excavating a bit right now.

I am learning things about myself that I didn’t know. I am learning that I want to be seen and heard. Not in an egotistical way, rather, in a way that uses my special powers for good. I am learning that I don’t care so much what everyone thinks. I have just carried that belief around for so long that I thought it was still true for me. I am learning that I can change a life long habit through choice and literally placing myself in and out of situations that support that, over and over again.  I am learning that I don’t need to explain myself to anyone. I am learning that I came here to do deep and profound work on knowing my Soul. I don’t know why that is, I just know that it is.

I am excavating and learning. It’s a good thing.

For your consideration…



Ms. Angelou

She had a voice that penetrated my consciousness. The wisdom was heard in each intonation. And her candor was delicious. She was a truth teller in every sense.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

I remember reading I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings in my 10th grade English class.  I was so intimidated by this book. It was the first time I really began to learn how to dig into an author’s meaning of not just words but their grouping of words. The way she strung them together was not only powerful; it was deep and provocative. I am so grateful her book along with a few others (Kaffir Boy, Native Son) were selected by Mrs. Jones.  It was in many ways my entry into learning how it felt, rather than how it was reported, to live as a young black person during those gruesome times of inequality.

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.”

I have to admit, I didn’t really know how full of a life Dr. Angelou lived. I understood she sang and did some film and theater, and was even engaged with the Civil Rights Movement.  I knew her as a literary change agent and a one of a kind, and compelling female role model.  I didn’t know she was raped as a young girl and after the perpetrator was murdered she didn’t speak for several years blaming her voice after having testified against him. I didn’t know Martin Luther King, Jr. her friend and colleague, was assassinated on her birthday and that she then didn’t celebrate her birthday for years following.  I didn’t know that she joined with Malcolm X prior to that to support his efforts only for that to be shortened by his assassination.  And that she lived in Cairo and Ghana and spoke more than 5 languages all while raising a son that she delivered at 16.

“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels.”

Her life story, what she experienced, and then what she did with her life is beyond inspirational.  I am not sure we celebrate the courage of the human spirit enough. Her resiliency was unwavering and it’s evident she didn’t know any other way.   Ms. Angelou‘s life is an example of what is possible for any of us. Her exampleship and memory will serve us for generations to come, and I hold that if nothing else, her choices give us, most especially women, permission to live our lives fully. To not hold back. To not waste time. To not miss opportunities to shine because we don’t want to upset or ruffle feathers. To stop telling ourselves bullshit stories about what we can’t do or what isn’t possible.

She drove impossible out of the game, completely.

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you cannot practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically but nothing consistently without courage.”

Thank you, Ms. Angelou. You will be the rainbow in the clouds for many.

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Finding the Blessing in Vertigo…

This past Sunday after I got myself to the beautiful sands of Santa Monica, I turned my head to grab something out of my bag and when I turned back it seemed the world was spinning around me. I knew this feeling. Back in 2004, I had a 5 day bout with vertigo that rocked me to the core. At that time, it was never really clear where it came from because I hadn’t had a cold or any infections to speak of.  After spending three days not being able to do much because I was walking into walls, I got myself to the emergency room where they eventually released me with anti-nausea and anti-dizzy medications. I experienced a few more small incidences over the years but none quite like that time nor the space I am encountering now.

When I experienced this at the beach this past Sunday my first thought was waiting to see if it would pass. Kind of like when an earthquake hits us here in Los Angeles, I wait to see if I need to hustle my butt to a door frame for safety. Well, I waited and it appeared the feeling of sensing I was on a boat and not on steady ground did not seem to pass. I had only arrived at the beach about 20 minutes prior so I contemplated if I should leave or attempt to enjoy a few hours of sun and blue sea. The idea of moving didn’t appeal to me due to my phobia of nausea so I stayed for a bit.  I even turned over – you know, the objective of achieving the even tan, and that lasted for a little over an hour.  I eventually got myself up and very carefully and slowly got dressed, and walked myself through the sand back to my car. I felt like an alien in my body.

I am not sure how but I safely drove myself home taking quieter, less active streets. When I arrived home, I laid down on my sofa and began contemplating the meaning and purpose of this experience. I felt a sense of peace and resolve. This has really never been my reaction when ever feeling nausea let alone feeling out of control of my body and physical experience. I felt this knowing that it was a message and my willingness and ability to receive that was important.

In the past, I have often rejected discomfort or things occurring that I didn’t plan for or want to be experiencing and despite this definitely being uncomfortable, I just went with it. And I still am. I discovered today that I do have some liquid behind my inner ear – no infection. However the liquid may be causing the imbalance.  After some swimming last week in a heated pool and lots of hot yoga, I believe I am a bit dehydrated and maybe a little run down. I am so used to pushing, doing, and always going that it still stumps me when my body is seeking rest. I create time for exercise, meditation, and other self-care regimes so I just didn’t see this one coming. However, that sense of calm that came when laying on the beach feeling the earth spinning was my Inner Knowing saying, “hey, girl, this is for you.” I know that may sound crazy like why would having vertigo be for you, and the truth is I am not completely clear exactly why but here is what I have come up with so far.

– You are in an awesome place of transition and transformation. Coming into balance with ALL of who you are is a beautiful gift for stepping into what is next.

– You often think you need to do it all by yourself.  Well you need to eat and you cannot drive so opening yourself up to the Love and assistance of your friends is available right now.

– When you don’t feel good inside you sometimes look to others to “help you feel better.” Here is your opportunity to show up for yourself, love yourself despite how you FEEL. (Take dominion.)

– You ego likes to control things and outcomes. How about if you just be in this place of unknowing and experience not knowing with a little Grace? Perform an experiment like the smart social scientist that you are.

And there are others. The message being there is meaning in all that occurs and we decide, I decide, when to look at it and when to overlook it. And we (I) also decide when to use it for our Selves or against ourselves.

With the assistance of some Loving friends, funny text messages, inspiring en*theos videos, and a deep connection to Spirit, I am going with this one…For me.

For your consideration…




“Sending Light.”  “So much Light!”  “I am sending Light ahead.”

What do I mean by this?

Short version: I am offering up a blessing of Love.

Longer version: In the last few years I have adopted these phrases and I often share them with my loved ones, those that know exactly what I am referencing and those that don’t. Initially, I would catch myself prior to saying, so as not to confuse someone or be asked to explain what I meant.  I didn’t want to be misunderstood and I also didn’t really want to explain why I was saying the word “light” or what I meant by it.  I hoped the way I shared and the moments I chose to share, it would be fairly self explanatory where I was coming from.  Plus we all have an idea of what Light means – at least in the literal sense. Light is bright, illuminating, a form of energy.

Soon, I decided not to worry about being misunderstood, trusting my intention and knowing it would shine through whenever I expressed it. And pretty soon my loved ones that weren’t already saying it themselves, were now reflecting it back to me.  It’s really quite wonderful, language, and how we use it to communicate. It goes to show that the listening behind what is being said is really where the understanding comes from.

So, I want to share a little bit more about what Light is…for me.

Light is spiritual.  Light is Love.  Light is God.  Light is prayer.  Light is calling forward the energy of the Precious Presence or the perfection of Love that is available to any of us at any time.  Light is Joy.  Light is goodwill.  Light is a blessing.  Light is the power of the holy spirit, the universe, God, whatever higher power any of us choose to call home.  Light is available.  If we choose to see it and call on it.

When I express my blessings of Light, I am saying that my Loving and heartfelt attention is calling on, asking for, and offering an intention of Grace, Ease, Expansion, Healing, Divinity, Wholeness, Radiance…you get the picture, to be sent directly to you or the situation.  This is my prayer.

For  your consideration.

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It’s never what you say, it’s how you say it…

My most amazing coach has taught me many things! The one that I hear myself repeating and sharing the most is:

ALL problems can be solved by one thing.


I swear I have never heard more sage advice.

Any challenge.  Any problem can be solved with or through communication. Imagine that.

Our ability to communicate is our most prized opportunity for learning.  It’s not easy to do. We all hear through our own filters. We carry so many thoughts and feelings around with who we are and what we think and what we think we believe that this becomes the lens in which we receive our lives, in which we hear other people’s words and expression.  This affects how we communicate.

The point, is to call forward the power of communication.  We’ve been told a lot of messages about how to interact, how to communicate, when to communicate etc. There are a million different way to slice and dice communication mastery.  It all boils down to this: It doesn’t really matter what you say.  It might be feedback of a constructive nature.  It might be prizing.  It might be your opinion  about something.  It might be something really important to you.

If you want to be heard.  If you want to share and engage.  If you want to be understood.  If you want to create connection for yourself and perhaps with another. What matters is how you share it; how you say it.

This is an opportunity we carry through our lives.  And with each opportunity we have a choice to focus on the how.  Sometimes we forget about that choice.  It’s okay.  It happens to all of us.  Do better next time.

For your consideration.



Your Welcome

Meister Eckart shared, “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is Thank You, it will be enough.”

I really appreciated hearing this message and the simplicity of what prayer can be.  We don’t have to over complicate the act or be religious about it.  We can simply, say thank you for what we have or are experiencing and that in itself is prayer.  How beautiful.

There is also the power of receiving gratitude and acknowledging it with an in kind response, like, “your welcome.”  If we treat gratitude, acknowledgment, compliments as the gifts that they are, a natural, respectful, and loving response is to say “your welcome.”  What I often hear, however (and I include myself in this) is a more dismissive response somewhat deflecting ownership that we did anything or are responsible for any part in what is being acknowledged OR we also say, “no, THANK you.”  Which is another way of not really receiving the gratitude.  I think there are many reasons we do this; from the ways we have been habitualized to not draw attention to ourselves, come off as self-important, boastful, or appear conceited or in many ways our overall opportunity in knowing how to receive.  Being able to receive, feeling worthy of what we think or say we want is a big opportunity in humanity.  I sense it is why so many of us are working so hard and not experiencing fulfillment.

For today, I just felt called to experiment with just receiving the “thank yous.”  When they come, try expressing, “your welcome.”  And leave it at that.  Become aware and mindful of what occurs for you or inside of you when you are on the receiving end of gratitude or acknowledgement and see if there is an opportunity to receive more gracefully.  If we are understanding it be a gift, which it really is, receiving it, is the most graceful thing we can do. We certainly don’t hand people back physical gifts when they give them to us.  Why don’t’ we treat the gift of gratitude in the same way?  With a smile and a “your welcome.”

For your consideration.


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