4 – Goodbyes

This will be short and sweet.  It’s more an ode to a past way of being.

I am not good with goodbyes (in the past).  But not in the way you are thinking.  I am not openly afraid of goodbyes and therefore avoid them, you know those individuals that say, “I cannot say goodbye so I’ll say farewell or see you later.”

Rather, I have been so afraid of goodbyes (in the past) that I unconsciously would obsess over there impending inevitability, in turn co-creating them sooner.  Either that or I (in the past) would create reasons to part and fulfill the goodbye because at least then I am aware and in control of when the goodbye is occurring.  Nuts, right?  I know you relate, though. At least one of you do. :-)

Here is the thing.  I experienced a lot of goodbyes when I was young.  Although I didn’t realize the effect this had on me until I was in my 30’s, that is the bottom line.  As a little girl, those goodbyes were hard.  Because I was a resilient little girl, I swept those feelings under the rug, had no conscious idea they would later formulate aspects of my personality and went about my business.  Fast forward 35 years later and I can see now how instead of waiting for an impending goodbye, I would instead quietly, slowly, unconsciously (in the past) instigate the goodbye.  Better sooner than later.  Ha!

It gets better.  I cannot really keep to the goodbye.  I have to go back and go back again because goodbye never meant forever; it was temporary then, so why wouldn’t it be temporary now?  Right?!?  Right.

Here we are now.  I am letting that go, that way of being.  I am no longer afraid of a goodbye since all of life is an impending goodbye at some point.  Our time here is temporary.  I know this and I would much rather be in it, fully in it, not consciously or unconsciously focusing on when I may not be in it.  That is just silly nonsense.  Whew!  I am so glad we cleared that one up.

Who’s next?

P.S. I release my parents from any liability or responsibility.  The therapy bills are paid and talking to God is free. :-)  I am a Soul having a human experience and all of it, all of this, is exactly on purpose.  No mistakes, no regrets.

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