9 – Vulnerability

Choosing to really be open and vulnerable, to share something that is a risk is a new place for me.  I have been holding the belief that because I am such an open person often sharing myself, that meant I was vulnerable.  And for some individuals that may be the case.  I see now that for me that is me just being me.  I am a verbal processor.  I learn by talking it out, often hearing myself out loud speak about whatever is present for me.  I may share more openly than others and for me, there hasn’t really been a vulnerability marker in that, until recently.

Most recently, I have been willing to acknowledge and share the riskier stuff, the deeper hurts, limiting beliefs or fears that I am experiencing.  It is definitely scary, to be so raw, to expose myself to another or better yet to hear myself acknowledge what I am aware of.  I know there is power in the awareness and it is also scary – at least at first.  Then it can be a relief and cleansing.

In the past I would share details and as I shared them I would have all the answers or I would share with confidence that I understood what all of it meant or I would even convince myself or whoever I was speaking with that I was okay with it.  I can now call “bullshit” on myself.  Many times, I hadn’t even dug deep enough into the root of it to be okay with anything.

Today, I am focused on creating my own business, becoming an entrepreneur and sharing publicly that my intention is to coach others, among a few other things. :-)  I have been challenged and tested on each of those intentions.  I am being faced with all the reasons why I haven’t created them so far – belief in myself, a sense of unworthiness or a lack of confidence that others may not see my offering as valuable or whatever other negative, contracting, fear-based feeling that can come forward.  And you know what?  This is all part of the process.  The only way I will be able to be successful in my intentions is if I walk through the before steps.  And it is precisely because of these heartfelt dreams and my willingness and drive to go for them, that I will heal and remove these barriers for the last time.

I felt inspired to share about vulnerability because I saw it so beautifully demonstrated before my eyes this evening.  I attended an event where a gentleman stood up and shared what I know was a huge, honest, and vulnerable sharing for him.  It touched me and it reminded me of my current journey and the work of Brene Brown in her book Daring Greatly.  Here is a quick video of her and Oprah discussing how vulnerability is the gateway to courage.

For your consideration…

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