Powerful Reflections for a New Year

When the new year approaches I find myself having all kinds of feelings. There is nostalgia for the holiday time, heart-opening for the spirit of Christmas and the warmth of the season, excitement for gatherings of friends and loved ones and even some pondering and pause for what the next year will bring. Its inspiring and sometimes daunting. So many of us are thinking about what new commitments or resolutions we will make, we wonder if we will actually see them through this year or perhaps we don’t even partake in that dialogue because we’ve given up on the idea years ago.

Choosing a mindset of optimism I tend to lean into all energy that can move me up and out of my comfort zone. However, I too like to reinvent things and apply a new approach if it seems fitting. I have recently become more aware of energy and how we have a choice to step into that or duck it, both of which may be a good idea depending upon what is going on in our lives at the time.

That being said, I’ve been mindful of the amount of energy that is swirling around this time of year. We may be in different time zones and we may even celebrate different holidays all over the globe but it is the end of one calendar year and the beginning of a new, everywhere. This creates a lot of energy on the planet.  In an effort not to get caught up in the frenzy, overwhelm or even disappointment, I put my new years thoughts on a pause.  Instead I chose to just be in the day.  I wanted to give myself some time to reflect on what I learned last year so as to ground the learnings and perhaps avoid creating new situations to learn them again.

It’s not an accident I waited until the end of the first month to write and share this. :-)

So here are some learnings from 2013 for 2014 and beyond:

My learnings are my blessings. This is a bit of what I mentioned above and I got more clear this year that I have an opportunity as I close out each year to spend time being in gratitude for the gift of my life.  As I become more aware of what I discover and learn each year, I am able to anchor those experiences.  It is often what we choose to be conscious of that soothes us, enlivens us, and propels us.

Family first. It’s taken me awhile to get here and I almost cannot contain how much loving I have in my heart for my family.  It is so easy to judge our families because they are such an awesome and consistent mirror to our own stuff.  All I can really say here is, it’s imperative to do the necessary inner work to remove any blocks from enjoying our families.  If not, we often are working through regrets later when the option is no longer available.

Fear is a compass telling me where to go…if I let it.  This was a new paradigm for me this past year.  As I stepped into creating a business, I began facing some challenges and obstacles.  In that endeavor, fear became a real factor and an indicator of things I needed to look at and walk towards.  Of course if we are in imminent danger, fear is a compass telling us to run in the opposite direction.  However, in this case, fear was really reflecting to me the opportunity I had to walk towards that which I wanted to avoid.  The challenge or thing I felt fearful of was exactly the thing I needed to face, to engage with, and to move through.  By doing so, I would release the fear because the mere act of experiencing it would remove the charge.  Fear is usually a feeling that comes with something unfamiliar or where there is risk involved.  Once we step into and go through it, it’s no longer unfamiliar and the risk is replaced with truth.  We now know by first hand experience what it was we were fearing and the fear diminishes.

The journey can feel as good as the destination.  Who knew we didn’t have to delay a life of joy and peace while we were trying to get there?  This powerful statement was offered to me by Ms Danielle LaPorte as she re-launched her website and The Desire Map.  When I heard her say this and I think she even said it “should” feel as good as the destination.  I thought to myself, “Of, Course!!”  Why wouldn’t we be intending for the journey, meaning today and each present moment to be feeling as good as some forecasted state of being or dream to be realized or goal to be achieved.  I vote for happiness NOW.  I choose Loving today.  It’s not just my future desired state.  It’s my daily intention.  So, if the journey feels like shit, don’t kid yourself that your going to arrive at some point in the future with happiness.  Find your joy in your NOW.

Rebirth each day.  Begin anew.  Why not? This was such a revelation for me this past year.  As I have let go of old beliefs or limiting patterns, I became more experientially aware of what is available to me.  Choice.  This simple word is so powerful.  I realized through some awesome mentoring and coaching that I could start fresh every day.  I could take each day as a brand new gift.  I could lay down whatever got in my way yesterday and choose a clean slate.  No one was really holding my past misses or grievances over my head – just me.  How refreshing?  If you need permission to do the same, Here it is!!

Expectation and worry will zap freedom, creativity, and joy every time.  This was another gem that was reflected to me in various ways from my coach.  As I got into my head about what was next or how to figure out the latest and greatest challenge, that inevitably landed me with anxiety, restless sleeping, or anger and frustration.  To alleviate that I began practicing being more aware of my breath, spending a minimum of 5 minutes a day meditating and envisioning myself being more in my heart instead of my head.  That looked like placing my hand on my heart and taking a few breaths or thinking about things that fill up my heart – my love for my family, my neighbor’s dog, or my best friend’s kids.  There are so many ways to get out of our heads and into our hearts AND it does require choice and action.  My coach taught me the simple and powerful acronym, LSD.  When in doubt try LSD.  Laughing. Singing. Dancing.  Do any one of these and then go create your life.  Pandora serves me in this pursuit daily!

And expectation.  Ugh!  The land of expectation is the surest way to be in disappointment – which stems from judgment of self and others.  It’s really a lose-lose proposition.  If you catch yourself feeling disappointed and you trace that feeling back inside it almost always leads to an expectation that you have placed and if you are like me, it’s often placed unconsciously.  Again, making what was unconscious conscious can be liberating.  Let go of the expectations and BE in the moment.

Healing is the application of loving.  I learned this beautiful principle for the first time in 1998 at the University of Santa Monica and I am really living into it these days.  I think most of us, when we see someone hurting or upset we feel something inside of us, often sympathy or empathy, depending upon where we are at.  And I even believe most of us feel a sense of compassion and yet, most of us do something that is the opposite of loving when we get hurt.  It might be that we judge the way we are feeling – which is the predominant human plague or we stuff it down with some excess, food, drink, exercise, etc.  We don’t want to appear weak or whiny or helpless so we don’t feel it at all or we hide it or hide from it.  Imagine the alternative.  If when we felt bad, we just gave that part of ourselves a little love, a little care, a little breath, a little space to BE.  If we learned that this was okay when we were little ones, I have a feeling there would be a lot less victimhood and self-abuse going on.  Here is a brilliant passage from Geneen Roth’s book, Women, Food, and God.  I read this just this week and thought how freakin’ revolutionary.

“Can you imagine how your life would have been different if each time you were feeling said or angry as a kid an adult said to you, “Come here, sweetheart, tell me all about it.”  If when you were overcome with grief at your best friend’s rejection, someone said to you, “Oh darling, tell me more.  Tell me where you feel those feelings.  Tell me how your belly feels, your chest.  I want to know every thing.  I’m here to listen to you, hold you, be with you.”

“All any feeling wants is to be welcomed with tenderness.  It wants room to unfold.  It wants to relax and tell its story.  It wants to dissolve like a thousand writhing snakes that with a flick of kindness become harmless strands of rope.”

BRILLIANT!

That which you seek is seeking you.  Thank you, Carrie Doubts!  Carrie has reflected this wisdom to me on various occasions and it was also reflected to me from the awesome Rich Litvin when I attended his Prosperous Coach weekends.  Rich shared with us, “you are so much closer to what you want, (what you seek) than you realize.”  That can sound like a cool proverb or positive statement, but I have experienced example after example for myself and others where this is true.  What I really take from it is a sense of calm and excitement at the same time.  The calm that I don’t need to try so hard.  Where I place my intention and energy is also moving towards me or I probably wouldn’t be seeking it. And the excitement for the same reasons – that I am closer, that I can relax into it.

An open heart creates an abundant life.  I sense this doesn’t need much explaining and I also recognize the power of stating the obvious.  This came to me when I recently heard Steve Pavlina speak and share his story of challenge, growth, and now pretty awesome success.  Steve shared many pearls of wisdom and the one that was the most profound for me (probably because it was one I was ready to really get) was the power of an open heart.  He shared that he began to recognize where he wasn’t open and/or was closing himself off to certain individuals.  In his reflection of the notion, when we close ourselves off to one person, we close ourselves off to all, something inside me clicked.  I was immediately called forward to how I embrace certain parts of myself and other parts I diminish and judge.  What I got was the revelation that I was essentially canceling out my loving by withholding my loving in other ways.  And that when I chose to close off to anything, I was closing my heart to myself.  When acceptance is present, I can be free to create, to play, and to move forward.  For me, this is where abundance lies.

What were some meaningful learnings for you in 2013?

Now is a GREAT time to call them out and leverage their energy! :-)

 

Category: behavior, choice, creativity, dominion, personal growth, significance | 2 comments

  • Elana says:

    Love this. It’s so powerful to reflect and learn from what we’ve done. Thank you for sharing these inspirational reflections!

  • Davia says:

    Perfect!! Here’s to continued love and light to you and your journey. I’m so proud of you. And absolutely the most blessed Mom on the planet. Thank you for choosing me. You have taught me much. I love you to the moon and back.
    Momma
    xo


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