8
July

In the way

Are you in the way?

Come on. Somewhere, you are in your own way.

And where might you be holding a place in someone else’s way? Someone you love. Someone you compete with inside yourself or someone you compare yourself to and where you have made up some cockamamie story that they have something you don’t or should have.

Where are you using someone else’s life or your perception thereof as an excuse to be in your own way?

Where are you in the way?

In the way of your life, of your dreams, of experiencing the fullness of you, of your God-given destiny?  Where have you exchanged that gift for a lesser, easier, more comfortable version of life because it’s the road more traveled, it’s familiar, it’s less likely to cause any ruckus or draw attention to you. You are used to it.

Where are you making stuff up inside your head impeding your connection, your direct and Divine connection to your Heart?

What’s the place where you so easily block yourself? Whats the spot you call your weakness? Your vulnerability?

It just may be your portal through.

Find it. Call it. Know it.

And shine the LIGHT all over it.

Pray. Meditate. Get quiet near it and ask for help.

A coach, therapist, a good listening friend.

God. He/She’s there. Any time.

The way is clear.

Anytime you are ready.

The way can be made clear.

For your consideration…

4 comments

2
July

A critical question to ask yourself…

photo

This may sound so basic and yet I find in life that the simplest things tend to be the most profound, especially when they are brought forward at the perfect, synchronistic time.

This question was offered to me by my coach and it lives on the chalkboard in my living area. Why? Because I choose to remind myself of this very simple and powerful question.

Where am I coming from?

Right now. In this moment. When I make a choice. Or decide something about myself or my life. When I answer an email. When I speak with someone I love. Or anyone for that matter. Where am I inside? Where am I coming from? What place? What space? What mental thought or emotion?

Think about it.

For a moment.

If we give ourselves the opportunity to ask this question before we act, decide, do…imagine the impact on the outcome.

Tremendous.

If we create the space to intentionally decide where we want to come from rather than being at the mercy of one dimension of ourselves. To be mindful. Thoughtful.

What would that be like? For you?

For your consideration.

2 comments

13
March

It’s never what you say, it’s how you say it…

My most amazing coach has taught me many things! The one that I hear myself repeating and sharing the most is:

ALL problems can be solved by one thing.

Communication.

I swear I have never heard more sage advice.

Any challenge.  Any problem can be solved with or through communication. Imagine that.

Our ability to communicate is our most prized opportunity for learning.  It’s not easy to do. We all hear through our own filters. We carry so many thoughts and feelings around with who we are and what we think and what we think we believe that this becomes the lens in which we receive our lives, in which we hear other people’s words and expression.  This affects how we communicate.

The point, is to call forward the power of communication.  We’ve been told a lot of messages about how to interact, how to communicate, when to communicate etc. There are a million different way to slice and dice communication mastery.  It all boils down to this: It doesn’t really matter what you say.  It might be feedback of a constructive nature.  It might be prizing.  It might be your opinion  about something.  It might be something really important to you.

If you want to be heard.  If you want to share and engage.  If you want to be understood.  If you want to create connection for yourself and perhaps with another. What matters is how you share it; how you say it.

This is an opportunity we carry through our lives.  And with each opportunity we have a choice to focus on the how.  Sometimes we forget about that choice.  It’s okay.  It happens to all of us.  Do better next time.

For your consideration.

3 comments

11
March

Your Welcome

Meister Eckart shared, “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is Thank You, it will be enough.”

I really appreciated hearing this message and the simplicity of what prayer can be.  We don’t have to over complicate the act or be religious about it.  We can simply, say thank you for what we have or are experiencing and that in itself is prayer.  How beautiful.

There is also the power of receiving gratitude and acknowledging it with an in kind response, like, “your welcome.”  If we treat gratitude, acknowledgment, compliments as the gifts that they are, a natural, respectful, and loving response is to say “your welcome.”  What I often hear, however (and I include myself in this) is a more dismissive response somewhat deflecting ownership that we did anything or are responsible for any part in what is being acknowledged OR we also say, “no, THANK you.”  Which is another way of not really receiving the gratitude.  I think there are many reasons we do this; from the ways we have been habitualized to not draw attention to ourselves, come off as self-important, boastful, or appear conceited or in many ways our overall opportunity in knowing how to receive.  Being able to receive, feeling worthy of what we think or say we want is a big opportunity in humanity.  I sense it is why so many of us are working so hard and not experiencing fulfillment.

For today, I just felt called to experiment with just receiving the “thank yous.”  When they come, try expressing, “your welcome.”  And leave it at that.  Become aware and mindful of what occurs for you or inside of you when you are on the receiving end of gratitude or acknowledgement and see if there is an opportunity to receive more gracefully.  If we are understanding it be a gift, which it really is, receiving it, is the most graceful thing we can do. We certainly don’t hand people back physical gifts when they give them to us.  Why don’t’ we treat the gift of gratitude in the same way?  With a smile and a “your welcome.”

For your consideration.

4 comments

1
February

Powerful Reflections for a New Year

When the new year approaches I find myself having all kinds of feelings. There is nostalgia for the holiday time, heart-opening for the spirit of Christmas and the warmth of the season, excitement for gatherings of friends and loved ones and even some pondering and pause for what the next year will bring. Its inspiring and sometimes daunting. So many of us are thinking about what new commitments or resolutions we will make, we wonder if we will actually see them through this year or perhaps we don’t even partake in that dialogue because we’ve given up on the idea years ago.

Choosing a mindset of optimism I tend to lean into all energy that can move me up and out of my comfort zone. However, I too like to reinvent things and apply a new approach if it seems fitting. I have recently become more aware of energy and how we have a choice to step into that or duck it, both of which may be a good idea depending upon what is going on in our lives at the time.

That being said, I’ve been mindful of the amount of energy that is swirling around this time of year. We may be in different time zones and we may even celebrate different holidays all over the globe but it is the end of one calendar year and the beginning of a new, everywhere. This creates a lot of energy on the planet.  In an effort not to get caught up in the frenzy, overwhelm or even disappointment, I put my new years thoughts on a pause.  Instead I chose to just be in the day.  I wanted to give myself some time to reflect on what I learned last year so as to ground the learnings and perhaps avoid creating new situations to learn them again.

It’s not an accident I waited until the end of the first month to write and share this. :-)

So here are some learnings from 2013 for 2014 and beyond:

My learnings are my blessings. This is a bit of what I mentioned above and I got more clear this year that I have an opportunity as I close out each year to spend time being in gratitude for the gift of my life.  As I become more aware of what I discover and learn each year, I am able to anchor those experiences.  It is often what we choose to be conscious of that soothes us, enlivens us, and propels us.

Family first. It’s taken me awhile to get here and I almost cannot contain how much loving I have in my heart for my family.  It is so easy to judge our families because they are such an awesome and consistent mirror to our own stuff.  All I can really say here is, it’s imperative to do the necessary inner work to remove any blocks from enjoying our families.  If not, we often are working through regrets later when the option is no longer available.

Fear is a compass telling me where to go…if I let it.  This was a new paradigm for me this past year.  As I stepped into creating a business, I began facing some challenges and obstacles.  In that endeavor, fear became a real factor and an indicator of things I needed to look at and walk towards.  Of course if we are in imminent danger, fear is a compass telling us to run in the opposite direction.  However, in this case, fear was really reflecting to me the opportunity I had to walk towards that which I wanted to avoid.  The challenge or thing I felt fearful of was exactly the thing I needed to face, to engage with, and to move through.  By doing so, I would release the fear because the mere act of experiencing it would remove the charge.  Fear is usually a feeling that comes with something unfamiliar or where there is risk involved.  Once we step into and go through it, it’s no longer unfamiliar and the risk is replaced with truth.  We now know by first hand experience what it was we were fearing and the fear diminishes.

The journey can feel as good as the destination.  Who knew we didn’t have to delay a life of joy and peace while we were trying to get there?  This powerful statement was offered to me by Ms Danielle LaPorte as she re-launched her website and The Desire Map.  When I heard her say this and I think she even said it “should” feel as good as the destination.  I thought to myself, “Of, Course!!”  Why wouldn’t we be intending for the journey, meaning today and each present moment to be feeling as good as some forecasted state of being or dream to be realized or goal to be achieved.  I vote for happiness NOW.  I choose Loving today.  It’s not just my future desired state.  It’s my daily intention.  So, if the journey feels like shit, don’t kid yourself that your going to arrive at some point in the future with happiness.  Find your joy in your NOW.

Rebirth each day.  Begin anew.  Why not? This was such a revelation for me this past year.  As I have let go of old beliefs or limiting patterns, I became more experientially aware of what is available to me.  Choice.  This simple word is so powerful.  I realized through some awesome mentoring and coaching that I could start fresh every day.  I could take each day as a brand new gift.  I could lay down whatever got in my way yesterday and choose a clean slate.  No one was really holding my past misses or grievances over my head – just me.  How refreshing?  If you need permission to do the same, Here it is!!

Expectation and worry will zap freedom, creativity, and joy every time.  This was another gem that was reflected to me in various ways from my coach.  As I got into my head about what was next or how to figure out the latest and greatest challenge, that inevitably landed me with anxiety, restless sleeping, or anger and frustration.  To alleviate that I began practicing being more aware of my breath, spending a minimum of 5 minutes a day meditating and envisioning myself being more in my heart instead of my head.  That looked like placing my hand on my heart and taking a few breaths or thinking about things that fill up my heart – my love for my family, my neighbor’s dog, or my best friend’s kids.  There are so many ways to get out of our heads and into our hearts AND it does require choice and action.  My coach taught me the simple and powerful acronym, LSD.  When in doubt try LSD.  Laughing. Singing. Dancing.  Do any one of these and then go create your life.  Pandora serves me in this pursuit daily!

And expectation.  Ugh!  The land of expectation is the surest way to be in disappointment – which stems from judgment of self and others.  It’s really a lose-lose proposition.  If you catch yourself feeling disappointed and you trace that feeling back inside it almost always leads to an expectation that you have placed and if you are like me, it’s often placed unconsciously.  Again, making what was unconscious conscious can be liberating.  Let go of the expectations and BE in the moment.

Healing is the application of loving.  I learned this beautiful principle for the first time in 1998 at the University of Santa Monica and I am really living into it these days.  I think most of us, when we see someone hurting or upset we feel something inside of us, often sympathy or empathy, depending upon where we are at.  And I even believe most of us feel a sense of compassion and yet, most of us do something that is the opposite of loving when we get hurt.  It might be that we judge the way we are feeling – which is the predominant human plague or we stuff it down with some excess, food, drink, exercise, etc.  We don’t want to appear weak or whiny or helpless so we don’t feel it at all or we hide it or hide from it.  Imagine the alternative.  If when we felt bad, we just gave that part of ourselves a little love, a little care, a little breath, a little space to BE.  If we learned that this was okay when we were little ones, I have a feeling there would be a lot less victimhood and self-abuse going on.  Here is a brilliant passage from Geneen Roth’s book, Women, Food, and God.  I read this just this week and thought how freakin’ revolutionary.

“Can you imagine how your life would have been different if each time you were feeling said or angry as a kid an adult said to you, “Come here, sweetheart, tell me all about it.”  If when you were overcome with grief at your best friend’s rejection, someone said to you, “Oh darling, tell me more.  Tell me where you feel those feelings.  Tell me how your belly feels, your chest.  I want to know every thing.  I’m here to listen to you, hold you, be with you.”

“All any feeling wants is to be welcomed with tenderness.  It wants room to unfold.  It wants to relax and tell its story.  It wants to dissolve like a thousand writhing snakes that with a flick of kindness become harmless strands of rope.”

BRILLIANT!

That which you seek is seeking you.  Thank you, Carrie Doubts!  Carrie has reflected this wisdom to me on various occasions and it was also reflected to me from the awesome Rich Litvin when I attended his Prosperous Coach weekends.  Rich shared with us, “you are so much closer to what you want, (what you seek) than you realize.”  That can sound like a cool proverb or positive statement, but I have experienced example after example for myself and others where this is true.  What I really take from it is a sense of calm and excitement at the same time.  The calm that I don’t need to try so hard.  Where I place my intention and energy is also moving towards me or I probably wouldn’t be seeking it. And the excitement for the same reasons – that I am closer, that I can relax into it.

An open heart creates an abundant life.  I sense this doesn’t need much explaining and I also recognize the power of stating the obvious.  This came to me when I recently heard Steve Pavlina speak and share his story of challenge, growth, and now pretty awesome success.  Steve shared many pearls of wisdom and the one that was the most profound for me (probably because it was one I was ready to really get) was the power of an open heart.  He shared that he began to recognize where he wasn’t open and/or was closing himself off to certain individuals.  In his reflection of the notion, when we close ourselves off to one person, we close ourselves off to all, something inside me clicked.  I was immediately called forward to how I embrace certain parts of myself and other parts I diminish and judge.  What I got was the revelation that I was essentially canceling out my loving by withholding my loving in other ways.  And that when I chose to close off to anything, I was closing my heart to myself.  When acceptance is present, I can be free to create, to play, and to move forward.  For me, this is where abundance lies.

What were some meaningful learnings for you in 2013?

Now is a GREAT time to call them out and leverage their energy! :-)

 

2 comments

12
October

Mary J + Cardio = Magic!

What is your MAGIC?

My powerful coach, Steve Chandler speaks about his coach, Steve Hardison as being a Magical Motivator for him.  I love this!  We all have motivators in our lives – some that come in the form of our coach, some are experiences we had that push us to want change in our lives, some of us are easily motivated with goals we set for ourselves.  If we are smart, we have stacked our lives with our magical motivators.

My coach, the first Steve, is definitely a motivator in my life and he shares his magic with me in our coaching sessions and also in the numerous books he has written.

I have been internally motivated to achieve certain successes based on how I decided as a little girl I wanted my life to go.  It’s amazing the contracts we make with ourselves when we are growing up that push our lives in certain directions.

I also feel called to share that one of my most amazing motivators is cardio exercise and Mary J Blige!  Maybe that sounds too simple.  But I have to tell you, it is powerful what happens for me when my heart rate is up and she is singing one of her brilliant lyrics in my ears.

What got me excited this morning to write this post was the richness of my experience while running the strand on Santa Monica beach.  I do this run about once a week and each time I struggle a bit to get going.  I see the beauty of the water which motivates me some and then within a few minutes the challenge of the cardio – my heart rate being pushed, I get fatigued and want to stop.

I have learned to listen to my body.  I know when there is an opportunity to push myself to a new level.   Although the physical pain makes me want to forget, I can remember the glory I feel when I get to the other side.  This may be, by the way, a matter of 8-12 minutes.  And I share all that because usually after those few minutes, I am now on the other side and what opens up inside me is profound.

My mind gets clear.

My creativity flows free.

I see nothing but possibility and it feels really good.

It’s from this place, I can formulate my day in way that lifts me up.  I receive downloads of ideas that excite me to action.  Or I acutely connect to the beauty of a fellow runners smile.  All of this fills up my personal gas tank to serve my self so I can serve in the world.

So, I ask you, what is your MAGIC?  Are you your biggest advocate placing motivators all around your life?  If not, why the heck not?

For your consideration…

 

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8
July

Silence

I’ve become more and more aware of the beauty and joy of silence. It is in the pure silence that I have experienced such utter peace or what I sense peace feels like. The silence of no negative self talk or the pesky gremlin questioning my choices or the old, old, old voice almost feels like from another life (call me woo woo if you like) that likes to make me wrong about a lot of things. I don’t think I am alone in this way or somehow especially special. I do know that for as long as I can remember, I’ve been on an introspective discovery of living. When my friends were reading or rather not reading in high school, I was reading M. Scott Peck’s, The Road Less Traveled. I got heckled about my “self-help” interests but I was seeking understanding. Whatever that looks like at 16 years of age. Now I am beginning to understand that my mind will never stop desiring to understand. What I was seeking (and often still do) through the understanding, is peace. And I’m learning more and more each day that peace is in my heart and the way to my heart often is silence. When there’s no words needed to fill a moment just the experience. When the voices I mentioned above are on hiatus. When I’m observing myself in neutrality (yes, that is possible). That silence is perfection and it provides a direct access to my heart in the purest state.

For your consideration…

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8
July

I’m getting on the Juicing Bandwagon

I first experienced juicing with a past boyfriend who was a triathlete. Not only was he in tip top physical shape, he also was very aware of what he was putting in his body for fuel. He had a fancy Champion juicer and he showed me the ropes. At that time the Champion was really the only way to go and it was pretty pricey. I also remember drawing the conclusion that the process was pretty time intensive and clean up was big. With that, my engagement has been sporadic.

As the health revolution evolves, juicing continues to be a mainstay and the greener the better! I’m not sure that it is less time consuming or without the clean up, but a lot has been learned and there are many tips around prep and use of the machines to ease clean up. I’m so excited to get going I finally committed to purchasing my first juicer.

I’ve been on the look out for a quality machine at an affordable price. Kris Carr of Crazy Sexy Wellness has shared her recommendations and I landed on this “on sale” Breville. I read a lot of reviews and it sounded like a great deal and has stood the test of time for many buyers. Of course I loved the price point too! It may not have been exactly what Ms Carr recommended but the brand was aligned and I’m just a newbie. Plus I have experienced that most things I take care of have a very long life. (Most people can’t believe when they get into my car that its 7 years old. :-))

Anywho, I’m excited about making some green juice and I will be sure to share more soon.

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18
May

I’m Sorry

Why do we apologize so much?

I recently realized how much I apologize and say “I’m sorry.”  You might be busy when I call you and I can hear it in your voice upon your answering.  I apologize.  Something didn’t come out the way you thought it would and I am involved yet not really responsible.  I apologize.  I decide that I prefer not to do something that I may have agreed to prior.  I apologize.   I am sure many of you can relate.

The thing is, how would I know you were busy when I called, you didn’t have to answer or better yet, how about I just acknowledge by sharing why I called and skip over the apology.  That might feel awkward, right?  When whatever it was didn’t go as planned, how about moving into what’s next.  There are probably great learnings in there for which an apology is definitely not merited.  And the final one, I changed my mind.  That might disappoint someone, but really I may just be taking care of myself in some way, and there is no need to apologize there either.

I understand that we often say and do things unconsciously because we learned them and/or because they are a verbal bridge, you know, like filling in a pause.  I mean, I use to say, “Like, she was all” and “Like, I know.” :-) (Okay, back in the early 80’s) And I also understand that our expression is telling a lot to ourselves and to the universe about who we are, what we are, and what we want.  The word apology by definition means to express regret or remorse for having failed or injured another.  I’d rather reserve the “I’m sorry” for when a real apology is appropriate and needed.

You might be thinking this is kind of silly and it doesn’t mean anything or you could do an experiment with me for the next 2-3 days and see how often you say, “I’m Sorry” or “sorry.”  How many times that you say it, is it truly merited, or are you just filling in space where there might not be any words needed?  Oooh, the uncomfortable silent pause.  That’s what it might feel like.

Let’s do it and report back, please!

For your consideration…

 

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1
May

2 – REbound

First let me start by saying, Thank You!  Thank You for reading along with me.  Whether you have read all of the last 30 posts or a few here and there, thank you!   I set out to complete a 32 day process of writing in this blog to kickstart my writing process.  You know, to WD-40 the writing joint?!?  That being said, I don’t see myself posting daily and clogging up everyone’s inbox with my daily notes.  And I also don’t foresee myself writing so much about myself.  The commitment of writing daily pushed me to look inside and find something new to share each day.  With a little more time in between writing, I can explore more, take a few pics with my fancy cameras (and then glamourize them with all my apps) and focus in on some areas that I love.  Like books, people, places, and a little fashion, too!  Okay, maybe a lot of fashion!  Point being more to come only less frequently.

So, what is REbound you ask?

Me!  Today I experienced myself completing a full rebound!  As I shared in my last post about procrastination, I was up late last night completing and had an 8am appt this morning.  Not enough sleep for this girl.  I was grouchy, frustrated, short tempered, and then judging myself for all of the above.  I had a few interactions with some people that triggered the heck out of me and I was ripe for a brawl!  I got the dark side, YEP!, and it was rearing to go today.  At about 10.15a, after a lovely co-worker tried to say good morning and I scowled, I decided it was time for an intervention with myself.  You see, I work in a tight environment.  There is no hiding.  And when that dark side is mirrored back to me it just makes it more amplified and yucky.  So I got up and went for a short walk, vented to a friend, let the energy go, and I chose to re-engage my day.  It wasn’t easy at first.  I was in that energy of a stubborn, petulant child.  I was frustrated and I wanted to be. Not really, but you know what I mean when you get stuck in something and instead of releasing the pressure, it just builds in our attempt to justify it.  Well, guess what?  I let it go.  I just chose to remember who I am and that none of it really matters anyways and that being in that energetic would just suck ASS!  So I gave it up.

Tonight when I was cooking myself some delicious foods and feeling so good for taking care of myself, I had the awareness that I had totally rebounded my day.  It wasn’t a crappy day at all.  It was a great day!  Yes!

WE all have superpowers.  We just have to be willing to use them.

For your consideration…

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