8
July

In the way

Are you in the way?

Come on. Somewhere, you are in your own way.

And where might you be holding a place in someone else’s way? Someone you love. Someone you compete with inside yourself or someone you compare yourself to and where you have made up some cockamamie story that they have something you don’t or should have.

Where are you using someone else’s life or your perception thereof as an excuse to be in your own way?

Where are you in the way?

In the way of your life, of your dreams, of experiencing the fullness of you, of your God-given destiny?  Where have you exchanged that gift for a lesser, easier, more comfortable version of life because it’s the road more traveled, it’s familiar, it’s less likely to cause any ruckus or draw attention to you. You are used to it.

Where are you making stuff up inside your head impeding your connection, your direct and Divine connection to your Heart?

What’s the place where you so easily block yourself? Whats the spot you call your weakness? Your vulnerability?

It just may be your portal through.

Find it. Call it. Know it.

And shine the LIGHT all over it.

Pray. Meditate. Get quiet near it and ask for help.

A coach, therapist, a good listening friend.

God. He/She’s there. Any time.

The way is clear.

Anytime you are ready.

The way can be made clear.

For your consideration…

4 comments

2
July

A critical question to ask yourself…

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This may sound so basic and yet I find in life that the simplest things tend to be the most profound, especially when they are brought forward at the perfect, synchronistic time.

This question was offered to me by my coach and it lives on the chalkboard in my living area. Why? Because I choose to remind myself of this very simple and powerful question.

Where am I coming from?

Right now. In this moment. When I make a choice. Or decide something about myself or my life. When I answer an email. When I speak with someone I love. Or anyone for that matter. Where am I inside? Where am I coming from? What place? What space? What mental thought or emotion?

Think about it.

For a moment.

If we give ourselves the opportunity to ask this question before we act, decide, do…imagine the impact on the outcome.

Tremendous.

If we create the space to intentionally decide where we want to come from rather than being at the mercy of one dimension of ourselves. To be mindful. Thoughtful.

What would that be like? For you?

For your consideration.

2 comments

20
June

Clarity vs. Choosing

I began writing about this almost a year ago when I was in a transition and searching for the “right” answer to my next steps. I started agonizing a bit over feeling like I didn’t “know” what to do and that felt so uncomfortable. I don’t think I was looking for absolute certainty (or maybe I was), it was just a sense of ‘this is the right path’ or ‘that is the better path,’ for me, right now. And a dear friend reflected back to me that sometimes it’s more about making a choice and allowing the clarity to follow. That resonated with me immediately.

Why had I been forcing on myself some controlled outcome of my choices and my life?

That sense of pushing was not getting me the clarity either. When I relaxed into the idea that if I chose a next step and let that play out, I would become clear if I was on track or if I needed to redirect.

I think we often feel that we don’t have the luxury of choosing and trusting, with bigger decisions in our life. I sense we live more in a mindset where we believe we have to map it out, think it through, make pros and cons lists, talk it over with a trusted friend or advisor, hem and haw, whatever.  And I am not saying all of those are not helpful, the key is that after you’ve done all that and you are still having questions, it might be helpful to make a choice and see what happens.

I am a moderate planner of things and yet I have come to realize that I have really mapped out my life even in an unconscious way. Stepping more into a flow and trusting my instincts, my gut, my intuition, versus always rationalizing my feelings in my mind is a more supportive approach.  The energy of that approach is light, open, expansive, and relaxed. The outcome I am looking for is fulfillment. For me, fulfillment usually comes from the experience of something. I cannot know if I am fulfilled unless I have an experiential reference point. If I am spending all of my energy attempting to create an outcome, or make it happen, I am not so sure I am very present to what’s occurring and to what is available.  When I let go of needing to know and I make a choice, I arrive where I arrive. Essentially, I take myself out of my head and into my life.

The clarity does come later. It’s really quite miraculous. It’s the reward for letting go, releasing the grip on needing it to be or look a certain way and trusting the flow of life.

I have recently found myself in another space of exploring options and this question of “knowing” is present again. This time I am not really making demands of myself to know, rather I am following my energy, my flow of inspiration.  (I will share more about that in another post. :-))

Everything is for us.

For your consideration.

2 comments

3
June

Finding the Blessing in Vertigo…

This past Sunday after I got myself to the beautiful sands of Santa Monica, I turned my head to grab something out of my bag and when I turned back it seemed the world was spinning around me. I knew this feeling. Back in 2004, I had a 5 day bout with vertigo that rocked me to the core. At that time, it was never really clear where it came from because I hadn’t had a cold or any infections to speak of.  After spending three days not being able to do much because I was walking into walls, I got myself to the emergency room where they eventually released me with anti-nausea and anti-dizzy medications. I experienced a few more small incidences over the years but none quite like that time nor the space I am encountering now.

When I experienced this at the beach this past Sunday my first thought was waiting to see if it would pass. Kind of like when an earthquake hits us here in Los Angeles, I wait to see if I need to hustle my butt to a door frame for safety. Well, I waited and it appeared the feeling of sensing I was on a boat and not on steady ground did not seem to pass. I had only arrived at the beach about 20 minutes prior so I contemplated if I should leave or attempt to enjoy a few hours of sun and blue sea. The idea of moving didn’t appeal to me due to my phobia of nausea so I stayed for a bit.  I even turned over – you know, the objective of achieving the even tan, and that lasted for a little over an hour.  I eventually got myself up and very carefully and slowly got dressed, and walked myself through the sand back to my car. I felt like an alien in my body.

I am not sure how but I safely drove myself home taking quieter, less active streets. When I arrived home, I laid down on my sofa and began contemplating the meaning and purpose of this experience. I felt a sense of peace and resolve. This has really never been my reaction when ever feeling nausea let alone feeling out of control of my body and physical experience. I felt this knowing that it was a message and my willingness and ability to receive that was important.

In the past, I have often rejected discomfort or things occurring that I didn’t plan for or want to be experiencing and despite this definitely being uncomfortable, I just went with it. And I still am. I discovered today that I do have some liquid behind my inner ear – no infection. However the liquid may be causing the imbalance.  After some swimming last week in a heated pool and lots of hot yoga, I believe I am a bit dehydrated and maybe a little run down. I am so used to pushing, doing, and always going that it still stumps me when my body is seeking rest. I create time for exercise, meditation, and other self-care regimes so I just didn’t see this one coming. However, that sense of calm that came when laying on the beach feeling the earth spinning was my Inner Knowing saying, “hey, girl, this is for you.” I know that may sound crazy like why would having vertigo be for you, and the truth is I am not completely clear exactly why but here is what I have come up with so far.

– You are in an awesome place of transition and transformation. Coming into balance with ALL of who you are is a beautiful gift for stepping into what is next.

– You often think you need to do it all by yourself.  Well you need to eat and you cannot drive so opening yourself up to the Love and assistance of your friends is available right now.

– When you don’t feel good inside you sometimes look to others to “help you feel better.” Here is your opportunity to show up for yourself, love yourself despite how you FEEL. (Take dominion.)

– You ego likes to control things and outcomes. How about if you just be in this place of unknowing and experience not knowing with a little Grace? Perform an experiment like the smart social scientist that you are.

And there are others. The message being there is meaning in all that occurs and we decide, I decide, when to look at it and when to overlook it. And we (I) also decide when to use it for our Selves or against ourselves.

With the assistance of some Loving friends, funny text messages, inspiring en*theos videos, and a deep connection to Spirit, I am going with this one…For me.

For your consideration…

2 comments

13
March

It’s never what you say, it’s how you say it…

My most amazing coach has taught me many things! The one that I hear myself repeating and sharing the most is:

ALL problems can be solved by one thing.

Communication.

I swear I have never heard more sage advice.

Any challenge.  Any problem can be solved with or through communication. Imagine that.

Our ability to communicate is our most prized opportunity for learning.  It’s not easy to do. We all hear through our own filters. We carry so many thoughts and feelings around with who we are and what we think and what we think we believe that this becomes the lens in which we receive our lives, in which we hear other people’s words and expression.  This affects how we communicate.

The point, is to call forward the power of communication.  We’ve been told a lot of messages about how to interact, how to communicate, when to communicate etc. There are a million different way to slice and dice communication mastery.  It all boils down to this: It doesn’t really matter what you say.  It might be feedback of a constructive nature.  It might be prizing.  It might be your opinion  about something.  It might be something really important to you.

If you want to be heard.  If you want to share and engage.  If you want to be understood.  If you want to create connection for yourself and perhaps with another. What matters is how you share it; how you say it.

This is an opportunity we carry through our lives.  And with each opportunity we have a choice to focus on the how.  Sometimes we forget about that choice.  It’s okay.  It happens to all of us.  Do better next time.

For your consideration.

3 comments

11
March

Your Welcome

Meister Eckart shared, “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is Thank You, it will be enough.”

I really appreciated hearing this message and the simplicity of what prayer can be.  We don’t have to over complicate the act or be religious about it.  We can simply, say thank you for what we have or are experiencing and that in itself is prayer.  How beautiful.

There is also the power of receiving gratitude and acknowledging it with an in kind response, like, “your welcome.”  If we treat gratitude, acknowledgment, compliments as the gifts that they are, a natural, respectful, and loving response is to say “your welcome.”  What I often hear, however (and I include myself in this) is a more dismissive response somewhat deflecting ownership that we did anything or are responsible for any part in what is being acknowledged OR we also say, “no, THANK you.”  Which is another way of not really receiving the gratitude.  I think there are many reasons we do this; from the ways we have been habitualized to not draw attention to ourselves, come off as self-important, boastful, or appear conceited or in many ways our overall opportunity in knowing how to receive.  Being able to receive, feeling worthy of what we think or say we want is a big opportunity in humanity.  I sense it is why so many of us are working so hard and not experiencing fulfillment.

For today, I just felt called to experiment with just receiving the “thank yous.”  When they come, try expressing, “your welcome.”  And leave it at that.  Become aware and mindful of what occurs for you or inside of you when you are on the receiving end of gratitude or acknowledgement and see if there is an opportunity to receive more gracefully.  If we are understanding it be a gift, which it really is, receiving it, is the most graceful thing we can do. We certainly don’t hand people back physical gifts when they give them to us.  Why don’t’ we treat the gift of gratitude in the same way?  With a smile and a “your welcome.”

For your consideration.

4 comments

1
February

Powerful Reflections for a New Year

When the new year approaches I find myself having all kinds of feelings. There is nostalgia for the holiday time, heart-opening for the spirit of Christmas and the warmth of the season, excitement for gatherings of friends and loved ones and even some pondering and pause for what the next year will bring. Its inspiring and sometimes daunting. So many of us are thinking about what new commitments or resolutions we will make, we wonder if we will actually see them through this year or perhaps we don’t even partake in that dialogue because we’ve given up on the idea years ago.

Choosing a mindset of optimism I tend to lean into all energy that can move me up and out of my comfort zone. However, I too like to reinvent things and apply a new approach if it seems fitting. I have recently become more aware of energy and how we have a choice to step into that or duck it, both of which may be a good idea depending upon what is going on in our lives at the time.

That being said, I’ve been mindful of the amount of energy that is swirling around this time of year. We may be in different time zones and we may even celebrate different holidays all over the globe but it is the end of one calendar year and the beginning of a new, everywhere. This creates a lot of energy on the planet.  In an effort not to get caught up in the frenzy, overwhelm or even disappointment, I put my new years thoughts on a pause.  Instead I chose to just be in the day.  I wanted to give myself some time to reflect on what I learned last year so as to ground the learnings and perhaps avoid creating new situations to learn them again.

It’s not an accident I waited until the end of the first month to write and share this. :-)

So here are some learnings from 2013 for 2014 and beyond:

My learnings are my blessings. This is a bit of what I mentioned above and I got more clear this year that I have an opportunity as I close out each year to spend time being in gratitude for the gift of my life.  As I become more aware of what I discover and learn each year, I am able to anchor those experiences.  It is often what we choose to be conscious of that soothes us, enlivens us, and propels us.

Family first. It’s taken me awhile to get here and I almost cannot contain how much loving I have in my heart for my family.  It is so easy to judge our families because they are such an awesome and consistent mirror to our own stuff.  All I can really say here is, it’s imperative to do the necessary inner work to remove any blocks from enjoying our families.  If not, we often are working through regrets later when the option is no longer available.

Fear is a compass telling me where to go…if I let it.  This was a new paradigm for me this past year.  As I stepped into creating a business, I began facing some challenges and obstacles.  In that endeavor, fear became a real factor and an indicator of things I needed to look at and walk towards.  Of course if we are in imminent danger, fear is a compass telling us to run in the opposite direction.  However, in this case, fear was really reflecting to me the opportunity I had to walk towards that which I wanted to avoid.  The challenge or thing I felt fearful of was exactly the thing I needed to face, to engage with, and to move through.  By doing so, I would release the fear because the mere act of experiencing it would remove the charge.  Fear is usually a feeling that comes with something unfamiliar or where there is risk involved.  Once we step into and go through it, it’s no longer unfamiliar and the risk is replaced with truth.  We now know by first hand experience what it was we were fearing and the fear diminishes.

The journey can feel as good as the destination.  Who knew we didn’t have to delay a life of joy and peace while we were trying to get there?  This powerful statement was offered to me by Ms Danielle LaPorte as she re-launched her website and The Desire Map.  When I heard her say this and I think she even said it “should” feel as good as the destination.  I thought to myself, “Of, Course!!”  Why wouldn’t we be intending for the journey, meaning today and each present moment to be feeling as good as some forecasted state of being or dream to be realized or goal to be achieved.  I vote for happiness NOW.  I choose Loving today.  It’s not just my future desired state.  It’s my daily intention.  So, if the journey feels like shit, don’t kid yourself that your going to arrive at some point in the future with happiness.  Find your joy in your NOW.

Rebirth each day.  Begin anew.  Why not? This was such a revelation for me this past year.  As I have let go of old beliefs or limiting patterns, I became more experientially aware of what is available to me.  Choice.  This simple word is so powerful.  I realized through some awesome mentoring and coaching that I could start fresh every day.  I could take each day as a brand new gift.  I could lay down whatever got in my way yesterday and choose a clean slate.  No one was really holding my past misses or grievances over my head – just me.  How refreshing?  If you need permission to do the same, Here it is!!

Expectation and worry will zap freedom, creativity, and joy every time.  This was another gem that was reflected to me in various ways from my coach.  As I got into my head about what was next or how to figure out the latest and greatest challenge, that inevitably landed me with anxiety, restless sleeping, or anger and frustration.  To alleviate that I began practicing being more aware of my breath, spending a minimum of 5 minutes a day meditating and envisioning myself being more in my heart instead of my head.  That looked like placing my hand on my heart and taking a few breaths or thinking about things that fill up my heart – my love for my family, my neighbor’s dog, or my best friend’s kids.  There are so many ways to get out of our heads and into our hearts AND it does require choice and action.  My coach taught me the simple and powerful acronym, LSD.  When in doubt try LSD.  Laughing. Singing. Dancing.  Do any one of these and then go create your life.  Pandora serves me in this pursuit daily!

And expectation.  Ugh!  The land of expectation is the surest way to be in disappointment – which stems from judgment of self and others.  It’s really a lose-lose proposition.  If you catch yourself feeling disappointed and you trace that feeling back inside it almost always leads to an expectation that you have placed and if you are like me, it’s often placed unconsciously.  Again, making what was unconscious conscious can be liberating.  Let go of the expectations and BE in the moment.

Healing is the application of loving.  I learned this beautiful principle for the first time in 1998 at the University of Santa Monica and I am really living into it these days.  I think most of us, when we see someone hurting or upset we feel something inside of us, often sympathy or empathy, depending upon where we are at.  And I even believe most of us feel a sense of compassion and yet, most of us do something that is the opposite of loving when we get hurt.  It might be that we judge the way we are feeling – which is the predominant human plague or we stuff it down with some excess, food, drink, exercise, etc.  We don’t want to appear weak or whiny or helpless so we don’t feel it at all or we hide it or hide from it.  Imagine the alternative.  If when we felt bad, we just gave that part of ourselves a little love, a little care, a little breath, a little space to BE.  If we learned that this was okay when we were little ones, I have a feeling there would be a lot less victimhood and self-abuse going on.  Here is a brilliant passage from Geneen Roth’s book, Women, Food, and God.  I read this just this week and thought how freakin’ revolutionary.

“Can you imagine how your life would have been different if each time you were feeling said or angry as a kid an adult said to you, “Come here, sweetheart, tell me all about it.”  If when you were overcome with grief at your best friend’s rejection, someone said to you, “Oh darling, tell me more.  Tell me where you feel those feelings.  Tell me how your belly feels, your chest.  I want to know every thing.  I’m here to listen to you, hold you, be with you.”

“All any feeling wants is to be welcomed with tenderness.  It wants room to unfold.  It wants to relax and tell its story.  It wants to dissolve like a thousand writhing snakes that with a flick of kindness become harmless strands of rope.”

BRILLIANT!

That which you seek is seeking you.  Thank you, Carrie Doubts!  Carrie has reflected this wisdom to me on various occasions and it was also reflected to me from the awesome Rich Litvin when I attended his Prosperous Coach weekends.  Rich shared with us, “you are so much closer to what you want, (what you seek) than you realize.”  That can sound like a cool proverb or positive statement, but I have experienced example after example for myself and others where this is true.  What I really take from it is a sense of calm and excitement at the same time.  The calm that I don’t need to try so hard.  Where I place my intention and energy is also moving towards me or I probably wouldn’t be seeking it. And the excitement for the same reasons – that I am closer, that I can relax into it.

An open heart creates an abundant life.  I sense this doesn’t need much explaining and I also recognize the power of stating the obvious.  This came to me when I recently heard Steve Pavlina speak and share his story of challenge, growth, and now pretty awesome success.  Steve shared many pearls of wisdom and the one that was the most profound for me (probably because it was one I was ready to really get) was the power of an open heart.  He shared that he began to recognize where he wasn’t open and/or was closing himself off to certain individuals.  In his reflection of the notion, when we close ourselves off to one person, we close ourselves off to all, something inside me clicked.  I was immediately called forward to how I embrace certain parts of myself and other parts I diminish and judge.  What I got was the revelation that I was essentially canceling out my loving by withholding my loving in other ways.  And that when I chose to close off to anything, I was closing my heart to myself.  When acceptance is present, I can be free to create, to play, and to move forward.  For me, this is where abundance lies.

What were some meaningful learnings for you in 2013?

Now is a GREAT time to call them out and leverage their energy! :-)

 

2 comments

12
October

Mary J + Cardio = Magic!

What is your MAGIC?

My powerful coach, Steve Chandler speaks about his coach, Steve Hardison as being a Magical Motivator for him.  I love this!  We all have motivators in our lives – some that come in the form of our coach, some are experiences we had that push us to want change in our lives, some of us are easily motivated with goals we set for ourselves.  If we are smart, we have stacked our lives with our magical motivators.

My coach, the first Steve, is definitely a motivator in my life and he shares his magic with me in our coaching sessions and also in the numerous books he has written.

I have been internally motivated to achieve certain successes based on how I decided as a little girl I wanted my life to go.  It’s amazing the contracts we make with ourselves when we are growing up that push our lives in certain directions.

I also feel called to share that one of my most amazing motivators is cardio exercise and Mary J Blige!  Maybe that sounds too simple.  But I have to tell you, it is powerful what happens for me when my heart rate is up and she is singing one of her brilliant lyrics in my ears.

What got me excited this morning to write this post was the richness of my experience while running the strand on Santa Monica beach.  I do this run about once a week and each time I struggle a bit to get going.  I see the beauty of the water which motivates me some and then within a few minutes the challenge of the cardio – my heart rate being pushed, I get fatigued and want to stop.

I have learned to listen to my body.  I know when there is an opportunity to push myself to a new level.   Although the physical pain makes me want to forget, I can remember the glory I feel when I get to the other side.  This may be, by the way, a matter of 8-12 minutes.  And I share all that because usually after those few minutes, I am now on the other side and what opens up inside me is profound.

My mind gets clear.

My creativity flows free.

I see nothing but possibility and it feels really good.

It’s from this place, I can formulate my day in way that lifts me up.  I receive downloads of ideas that excite me to action.  Or I acutely connect to the beauty of a fellow runners smile.  All of this fills up my personal gas tank to serve my self so I can serve in the world.

So, I ask you, what is your MAGIC?  Are you your biggest advocate placing motivators all around your life?  If not, why the heck not?

For your consideration…

 

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17
July

for you, for me

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I’m still learning how to do this. It sounds so nice and lovely and yet there are often many distractions between our heart and our Selves.

Our ego which serves us in many ways (living in these human bodies), can also be the louder voice. It can show up as fear, doubt, resistance, reasoning, protection, and many other forms. Some of my favorite thought leaders speak about this so clearly and succinctly, here and here.

Steven Pressfield writes, “A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. It’s only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate.”

For your consideration…

PS: Feel free to save the image above if you feel called. I made it with the pic lab app! So much fun!!

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16
July

Are you playful?

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I recently spent some time at an amusement park with family and it reminded me of the opportunity to be playful, to let my hair down, and to participate in the fun.

Are there rides you don’t think you are ready to get on? Maybe you think you aren’t ready? Or maybe you feel you are “too” old? It’s all just a story.

We decide what is true.

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