26
June

Let’s Be in the Love

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There is a lot of loving going on right now with the amazing news today! And a whole lot of singing too, Im sure.

I felt inspired to fly on the tails of this beautiful news to encourage all of us to be asking the question, “What Makes Your Heart Sing?” In the spirit of equality, freedom, and the open-heartedness that is in the air, it’s okay to be doing things, moving towards, being with whatever makes your Heart sing. Life is just too short to handle it any other way.

Love!

ps. I just wrote this blog post from my iPhone! Yes!

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31
May

Love III

Over the long weekend, I had the privilege of spending it with good friends in a beautiful place – the bay area, enjoying good foods, experiencing good company, all of which created blessed memories. :-)

What was most profound to me during this time with my friends was the love that I was aware of, that was surrounding me, filling me, and overflowing from me.  Call it mid-life, emotional or just conscious living, I was acutely aware and filled up by the love I have for these individuals, my dear friends.  I mean they are good people and there are many things/attributes to love about them and it was more pure than that.  It was like I was so connected to the bond that we have created over the years, the ways in which we have held for each other – our hopes, our dreams and the ways in which we have encouraged each other – through life changes and disappointments.  We have experienced a lot together, even though we are not in each other’s daily lives and I am so enriched by our friendship.

I could feel in their presence the sweet admiration, respect, and joy I feel for each of them. It was deeply fulfilling to steep in this realization and my immense well of gratitude came bubbling up as we had our last meal together.  I may not see them all the time and yet their presence fills me; the realization that I am blessed to have such beloved connections with wonderful beings is a gift and it is my gift.  I am so grateful.

I write about this love as a means of honoring and acknowledging it and it’s value to my life experience.  I know this experience and awareness of great friends and the bonds shared is felt by many, and I am not sure enough us take the time to reflect on it, while we are in it so that we can experience it and not just remember it later.

For your consideration…

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27
April

6 – Goodness

imageThere is so much goodness in the world, aka., LOVE!  My neighbor learned of my little health thing and stint in the hospital and a few hours later, she, her lovely husband, and their delicious puppy, Star, bring me over this array of delights and beautiful flowers.  My goodness, my heart skipped a beat.  I was so deeply touched by this act and I received it with grace. :-)

I share this for, well, obvious reasons.  I mean look at that pic again.  So darn good. Right?!?  And also to share that I had a little health thing that didn’t go the way the Docs expected it to and hence I had to stay overnight at Cedars.  It was not so much fun, experiencing my first overnight stay at a hospital where I was the one in the bed with tubes in my arms.  (At least it wasn’t tubes up my nose…that ones for you Gramps!)  There is more there and the good news is that I am okay, nothing life threatening.  The challenging news is that I am still not through this jaunt and it touches on so many vulnerable and sensitive issues.  I approached this with high optimism.  I really had no reason to think it wouldn’t go as planned and where I landed was in a pause, drugged up, not myself, and alone – as I had set it up.  I did feel a lot of support and love from those that I shared this with and the piece that was really tough was just being in it with me.  All in all, it was just fine.  And I learned more about myself.  I am a private person.  Who knew?  The verbal processor that shares her heart on a daily basis handles private stuff private.  Although at times I felt scared, giving my self space allowed me the dignity of my own process.

Being able to receive as I mentioned briefly in my last post is what brought me to this one. This beautiful gesture of care, concern, and Love from my neighbors was just wonderful, in every way.  I was ready to receive more today and quite frankly when they showed up at my doorstep there was no turning back.  I am grateful, so darn grateful, for goodness like this that I get to participate in, witness and in this case receive.  Grateful, indeed.

 

 

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24
April

9 – Vulnerability

Choosing to really be open and vulnerable, to share something that is a risk is a new place for me.  I have been holding the belief that because I am such an open person often sharing myself, that meant I was vulnerable.  And for some individuals that may be the case.  I see now that for me that is me just being me.  I am a verbal processor.  I learn by talking it out, often hearing myself out loud speak about whatever is present for me.  I may share more openly than others and for me, there hasn’t really been a vulnerability marker in that, until recently.

Most recently, I have been willing to acknowledge and share the riskier stuff, the deeper hurts, limiting beliefs or fears that I am experiencing.  It is definitely scary, to be so raw, to expose myself to another or better yet to hear myself acknowledge what I am aware of.  I know there is power in the awareness and it is also scary – at least at first.  Then it can be a relief and cleansing.

In the past I would share details and as I shared them I would have all the answers or I would share with confidence that I understood what all of it meant or I would even convince myself or whoever I was speaking with that I was okay with it.  I can now call “bullshit” on myself.  Many times, I hadn’t even dug deep enough into the root of it to be okay with anything.

Today, I am focused on creating my own business, becoming an entrepreneur and sharing publicly that my intention is to coach others, among a few other things. :-)  I have been challenged and tested on each of those intentions.  I am being faced with all the reasons why I haven’t created them so far – belief in myself, a sense of unworthiness or a lack of confidence that others may not see my offering as valuable or whatever other negative, contracting, fear-based feeling that can come forward.  And you know what?  This is all part of the process.  The only way I will be able to be successful in my intentions is if I walk through the before steps.  And it is precisely because of these heartfelt dreams and my willingness and drive to go for them, that I will heal and remove these barriers for the last time.

I felt inspired to share about vulnerability because I saw it so beautifully demonstrated before my eyes this evening.  I attended an event where a gentleman stood up and shared what I know was a huge, honest, and vulnerable sharing for him.  It touched me and it reminded me of my current journey and the work of Brene Brown in her book Daring Greatly.  Here is a quick video of her and Oprah discussing how vulnerability is the gateway to courage.

For your consideration…

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21
April

12 – Hospitality

I just spent the last 24 hours being hosted like nobody’s business.  And I guess I am making it all of your’s. :-)  It was the first time seeing my friend’s new place since she moved last year.  We had spoken about the apartment with the 25 foot long terrace and the amazing view. I imagined and it totally outdid my greatest visions.  It was indeed AMAZING and spending just those few hours there was so replenishing.  Thank you, dear friend!

On to the point of this post, hospitality.  My friend’s apartment is pretty spectacular due to it’s specs and it came to life because of her brilliant design aesthetic and her architectural eye.  Beautiful.  What was even more memorable was the way in which she and her partner hosted me.  The drinks I like, space made for my belongings, fresh yummy towels, a succulent dinner of Wagyu beef skirt steak, lobster tails, and arugula salad.  All of which were prepped before I arrived and then prepared with such grace, and in minutes.  There was a delicious dessert of raw chocolate cake which she decorated with fresh berries and then there was the introduction to my new love, the Nespresso machine.  Oh, dear!  The decaf doppio macchiato was served in moments!!

Of course, the time reconnecting and catching up, while taking in the view was the best part, and I couldn’t help but notice all the details my friend went to, in creating such a lovely experience.  Later in the night when we were bundled on the terrace, they set up my bed with cozy linens and a glass of water.  As I snuggled in, feeling such abundance and gratitude for my experience it occurred to me that hospitality is an artform.

I have to say I learned so much of that from watching my mother and the joy and excitement she took and still takes in creating an atmosphere that surprises and delights her guests.  Everything from a water jar at your bedside table and one of the most beautifully made beds you will ever encounter to individual butter pat dishes and place cards at the dining table.  My mom sets a stunning table and she doesn’t hold it for special occasions only.  I have continued to appreciate these experiences, taking in the time and energy that was offered up to create them.   And isn’t that what life really is, a series of experiences?  It is so nice when they are sprinkled with intention, love, and beauty, yes?

I admire these two women in so many ways, this is just one, and I am so glad I got to share it here.

P.S. I remembered this Martha article I read so many years back and found it on the web.

For your consideration…

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